Welcome to the first season of From Hardship to Hope—the podcast for Christian women navigating the intersection of motherhood, mental health, and matters of faith. If you’re looking for Biblical insight and actionable tips, this show is for you.
Two resources I mention in today’s episode that may prove helpful are The Wounded Heart by author and counselor, Dan Allender, and Healing Every Day by Mary DeMuth—one of my favorite writers who happens to be a survivor.
Please join me in two weeks for our next episode, The Battle Within: King David's Trauma Struggle (and Yours).
Peace and grace,
Tammy
Shownotes
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Do you long for hope amid mental, emotional, or relational struggles?
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Join life coach,
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author,
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and trauma survivor Tammy Kennington on From Hardship to Hope,
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the podcast for Christian women navigating the intersection of motherhood,
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mental health,
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and matters of faith.
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If you need biblical-based support, encouragement, and actionable tips, this show is for you.
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I'm your host,
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Tammy Kennington,
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and welcome to today's episode in which we'll be discussing post-traumatic stress disorder,
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the trauma wound that makes a difference in so many lives and affects so many people.
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So let's get going.
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I thought I was going crazy.
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I'd been married for several years to my high school.
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Sweetheart had a wonderful marriage, two little ones running around home.
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I adored being a mom.
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We had our first house, good friends, a strong church community.
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And internally I was at complete unrest, completely overwhelmed by anxiety.
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at times so low,
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I considered the possibility of suicide and even began to research how people might
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die by committing suicide.
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It was a very frightening time.
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While I dealt with some of these issues before, I'd been able to push them aside.
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And I really thought that once I had my life in place and everything
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Running smoothly, I could forget the past.
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I could forget the horrors of my childhood.
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I could leave those things behind.
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But I was so wrong.
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I drug a lot of baggage with me into marriage and motherhood.
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And it impacted my family in ways that absolutely still break my heart today.
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So what was going on at that point in my life?
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Well, I mentioned the anxiety.
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I did struggle with depression, although I was really good at covering it up.
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And I would just suddenly have these desires to stop living, escape.
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I longed to escape my past.
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I longed to escape myself.
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But that was impossible.
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So after struggling for quite some time with these really clear mental health issues,
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my husband convinced me to seek help.
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And I began seeing a Christian counselor, and we engaged in some talk therapy, some prayer.
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Most of it was journaling, though, and talk therapy.
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And many of my symptoms did improve for a time.
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So I thought I was done at that point and continued to move on with my life.
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How wrong could I have been?
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So despite my thinking I was going crazy, I wasn't.
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I just hadn't realized that I had a condition known as post-traumatic stress disorder.
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And I didn't discover that particular struggle
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until many years later when,
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once again,
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I wound up on the couch of another therapist because I had actually blacked out at
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one point due to fear.
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And I didn't understand what was happening.
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I knew something was terribly wrong.
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I woke up curled up on the floor, my arms wrapped around my legs in a fetal position.
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And I had no idea what had happened.
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I had no memory after a certain point in the discussion with my husband and was
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completely and utterly confused.
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So sitting on the couch across from this counselor, I was very wary, very uncertain, very frightened.
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And she took a sip of her water bottle and gently said,
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spoke into my life and said, Tammy, did anyone ever tell you you have PTSD?
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I was absolutely stunned.
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I didn't think I could handle one more thing wrong with me.
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I couldn't handle something added to the anxiety or the panic or the fear or the
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nightmares or the depression or the desire to just sometimes give up.
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But that day,
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was actually the day I believe that I really stepped into the long journey toward healing.
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And that's what I want for all of the listeners here to know.
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There is hope for healing.
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If you or a loved one struggle with PTSD, there is hope.
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And that's what we're going to explore for the entire first season of this podcast.
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So let's talk for a little bit about the two basic types of trauma.
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Social scientists tell us that there really are two types of trauma, basically.
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One of those types of trauma is a result of experiencing a one-time event,
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an event that overwhelms one's ability to cope emotionally.
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This event might be represented by such things as car accidents,
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perhaps a weather-related event that can result in a home being destroyed.
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It could result in many different kinds of problems.
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Those are single-event types of trauma.
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The second type of trauma is an ongoing, perpetual trauma, and that oftentimes is associated with
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war, with domestic violence, and with child abuse.
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So while PTSD,
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post-traumatic stress disorder,
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and complex post-traumatic stress disorder both have similarities,
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there are some differences.
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And anybody can develop PTSD as a result of a single event trauma.
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Typically people who develop complex post-traumatic stress disorder or CPTSD are
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those individuals who've experienced ongoing trauma.
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So let's dig a little bit deeper into some stats and then some symptoms of both PTSD and CPTSD.
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And I'm going to clarify a little bit more about both of those.
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So according to experts,
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Eight to 10% of people in the United States at any given time are experiencing PTSD.
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This doesn't include necessarily CPTSD.
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The facts I've been able to research just term it PTSD.
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But when we dig a little bit deeper, we learn some really
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really quite horrible things about child abuse as well as domestic violence.
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So in the United States,
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600,000 children are abused every year and 15 to 43% of children then experience trauma.
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So different figures representing the same sort of information.
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Of those children,
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of the 15% to 43% of children who experience trauma,
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3% to 15% of girls and 1% to 6% of boys will develop PTSD.
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And again,
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I'm not certain on how they're delineating or if they are delineating any
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differences between PTSD and CPTSD.
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And I'll explain more about that in a little bit.
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So those are high numbers, right?
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But what's really so heart-wrenching is that of children in low-income families and
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particularly low-income and inner-city families,
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up to 40% of those kiddos develop PTSD.
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So when we compare the figure suggesting that 8% of the U.S.
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population struggles with PTSD and juxtapose that against the
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even 15% of girls or 40% of the low-income inner-city children, I have to question that first figure.
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8% seems a little low.
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because the majority of these children are not going to be able to seek treatment and,
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like me,
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will not even recognize that their symptoms are representative of a particular
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issue for which they can seek help.
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So then let's look a little bit at statistics regarding domestic violence and rape and assault.
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So almost 20 people per minute are physically abused by their intimate partner or
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spouse in the United States.
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So that's more than 10 million women and men every year.
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If we dig down a little bit deeper,
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that means that one in four women and one in nine men experience severe abuse.
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intimate partner physical violence, including sexual violence, stalking.
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And those individuals are generally going to experience that on an ongoing basis.
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More than that,
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one in three women and one in four men have experienced some form of physical
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violence by their partner.
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And this might be slapping, shoving, pushing.
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And in some cases, people don't think of that as domestic violence.
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Really disturbing.
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In fact, one in 10 women have been raped by their spouse or intimate partner.
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And one in four women,
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one in seven men have been victims of severe physical violence,
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including beating and burning and
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and other sorts of things that I don't want to trigger anybody,
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but those are very significant statistics.
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One in five women and one in 71 men in the U S will have been raped in their lifetime.
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And typically 44% of those are individuals up to 46%,
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depending upon gender were raped by an acquaintance.
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And we know in addition that one in 15 kids are exposed to partner violence in their homes every year.
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They watch parents or step-parents or whoever they're living with commit domestic violence in their home.
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So these are overwhelming stats, right?
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What does this mean for children who grow into adulthood
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or men and women who suffer with the aftermath of domestic violence and they exhibit symptoms of PTSD.
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There are some very specific symptoms that we know represent both PTSD and CPTSD.
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And while CPTSD and PTSD
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have very similar characteristics.
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There are a couple differences,
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and that's why not everybody agrees on whether they are a single type of disorder,
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or if they are,
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again,
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their own definable
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But let's let's think about some of those statistics,
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rather symptoms,
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because some of you may be wondering whether or not you have PTSD or perhaps
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whether one of your loved ones has PTSD.
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So you can find all the information about symptoms at PTSD.gov.
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It's actually for warriors.
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And there's a great checklist there.
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But all of these symptoms are taken from the DSM-5.
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And you can also look that up on the web.
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But I'll just go through these so you have a general idea.
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So if you've regularly re-experienced trauma through unwanted upsetting memories,
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nightmares,
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flashbacks,
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emotional distress after exposure to a traumatic reminder,
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maybe by seeing a picture of somebody,
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maybe through something on television or physical reactivity after exposure to a
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traumatic reminder,
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maybe having a panic attack or feeling really,
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uh,
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fearful or angry in response to that.
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Those are symptoms of re-experiencing trauma.
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Other symptoms include trauma related thoughts or feelings or
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responding to, again, trauma-related reminders, but avoiding both of those.
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So if you avoid either the trauma thoughts or feelings or trauma-related reminders,
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you might even go to as far as avoiding a certain route.
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Perhaps if you were assaulted by somebody,
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on a city street somewhere in that alley,
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you may actually create a route that far exceeds that area of town because you
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don't want to be reminded of it.
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Have negative thoughts or feelings that began or worsened after the trauma
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continued in the following ways,
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in at least two of the following ways?
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Do you have an inability to recall key features of the trauma?
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Do you experience over negatively thoughts and assumptions either about yourself or the world?
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Is there an exaggerated blame of yourself or others for causing trauma?
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Are you experiencing a negative affect?
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Is it hard for you to experience emotion?
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Is it hard for you to enjoy life?
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Are you feeling numb?
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Do you have decreased interest in activities?
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Are you feeling isolated?
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Do you have difficulty living?
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in your relationships with others.
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Those are symptoms that you may possibly be experiencing PTSD, CPTSD.
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In addition to that,
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you may have the following symptoms,
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and in order to be diagnosed,
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must also experience at least two of the following,
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irritability or aggression,
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risky or destructive behavior.
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That could be self-destructive behavior or could be destructive behavior toward other people.
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Risky behavior might be risky sexual behavior.
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It might be engaging in substance abuse.
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It might be driving really fast.
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Hypervigilance, heightened startle reaction, difficulty concentrating, difficulty sleeping, and
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Have the symptoms mentioned lasted for more than one month?
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If they haven't, you likely are experiencing acute stress disorder.
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But if it,
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if these symptoms go beyond that month,
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definitely seek some help and find out what's going on.
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Do your symptoms also create distress or functional impairment,
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either socially with your family or on the job?
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Some people, some,
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Women that I know very well can't go to work in a traditional work setting because
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their social anxiety is so significant as a result of what they've experienced in childhood.
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Are the symptoms unrelated to medication, substance abuse, or other illness?
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So for example, when I...
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met with the second counselor and told her that I had come to after being on the
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ground in this fetal position,
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the first question she asked me was,
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were you drinking?
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And I wasn't, not at all, not a single drop.
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So those are important things for you to consider as well.
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If you did answer yes to some of these or most of these symptoms and you haven't
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yet been diagnosed by clinician or therapist,
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I really encourage you to seek insight from a professional.
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Books and online websites really can be useful.
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They can help us track what's going on in our own lives,
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but they are not adequate at diagnosing or providing follow-up care.
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So whether you've begun care or not,
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I hope you'll find encouragement in today's session and the following sessions.
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So we've discussed my own personal story.
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I really thought I was going crazy.
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I thought I was losing my mind.
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And I even felt like there were other people almost speaking into my life.
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That has to do with a symptom we haven't yet discussed yet, but it has to do with CPTSD.
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Particularly children, but adults,
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There are also women and men who've been victims of domestic violence or those who
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have gone through multiple excursions into the war may experience significant
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memory loss or they may feel as if different people at times are taking over.
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They may have
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they may experiencing something as unexplained as getting a tattoo,
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but they weren't aware that they got it.
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So this has to do with something called a dissociative disorder,
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which is commonly experienced by adult survivors of childhood abuse in particular.
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And while statistics indicate
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that, again, only 1% to 2% of people deal with dissociative identity disorder.
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I personally know several women and a couple of men who live with the impact and
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challenges of these dissociative disorders,
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in particular,
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dissociative identity disorder.
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I think, given the statistics we discussed earlier,
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and the number of kids who are being and were abused over the years,
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I think that number is actually higher than we know.
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So if you experienced some of those memory issues that I mentioned,
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maybe have huge gaps in your memories from childhood or that sort of thing,
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then I would definitely follow up with a caregiver,
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but know
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that when we look at all of this information together, you are not alone in your struggle.
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There are so many survivors, so many, and there's hope for a life that is fulfilling and joy-filled.
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And you may not be on the side of that equation yet,
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but I can tell you from personal experience,
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it is possible.
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So let's move on a little bit to where healing begins, because we've laid the foundation.
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But I really do want to share with you that healing is possible.
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And I'd like to read an excerpt from a work in progress that I am pitching.
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Healing begins with rooting out the lie that we are not at fault for one,
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having been abused and to developing a trauma wound.
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We wonder why we couldn't or didn't put a stop to the abuse,
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imagining we must be weak or flawed,
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somehow responsible for failing to manage the pain of our past.
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Often these misconceptions were birthed by our abuser.
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Now look what you made me do.
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If your mother knew what a bad girl you are, she wouldn't love you.
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Accepting the narrative as truth, we internalize the lie I'm to blame for years.
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even decades,
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without realizing how the offender and others have placed the blame for abuse
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squarely on our shoulders.
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I don't believe you, or why didn't you tell me sooner?
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If you hadn't worn that outfit, he never would have touched you.
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Do any of those sound familiar?
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This sort of faulty thinking, victim blaming, has existed for centuries.
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Scripture, for instance, tells of a man who had been blind since birth.
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As Christ and his followers approached,
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the disciples asked,
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Rabbi,
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who sinned,
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this man or his parents,
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that he was born blind?
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Neither this man nor his parents sinned, said Jesus.
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But this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.
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John 9, 2-3
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Then Jesus healed the man, providing him with both physical and spiritual sight.
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His identity transformed.
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The man was no longer identified by a label, but by his belief in Jesus Christ.
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He who had been desperate, a disciple.
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The beggar who people overlooked, touched by the hand of God.
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The man shackled to suffering, redeemed and restored by the merciful healer.
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This scripture teaches us at least two important concepts.
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First, the blind man was not at fault for having been born blind.
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In the same way,
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you are not at fault for developing PTSD any more than you were at fault for
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suffering abuse or any other trauma that triggered its development.
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Do you believe it?
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I'd like you to say this after me.
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I am not at fault for wrestling with PTSD.
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Okay, let's have you do it with me now.
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I am not at fault for wrestling with PTSD.
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Let's try this one.
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I am not at fault for having been abused.
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Okay, just in case you didn't join in the first time, let's do this second sentence again.
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I am not at fault for having been abused.
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So we talked about first, the blind man was not at fault.
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Second, God's goodness was displayed in the blind man's suffering.
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Hey, please don't misunderstand me.
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God is not the author of sin, nor does he sanction it.
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If PTSD resulted because of the suffering you experienced at another's hand,
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that individual will bow before Christ and he will be held to account or she.
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But the beauty of this passage?
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When we invite him into our pain,
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both our suffering and subsequent transformation provide a platform for God to
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demonstrate his life-altering,
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miracle-working,
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soul-healing power.
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We become a living testimony pointing heavenward and offering others hope.
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Our identity is not dictated by a psychiatrist or a DSM-5 book.
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Instead,
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our identity resides in Jesus,
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the one who died and rose to rescue us from the worst of the world.
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Just consider these words, the words Jesus pronounced over you or the Lord.
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In his eyes, you are loved.
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1 John 3, 1.
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You are his special possession, 1 Peter 2.9.
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You are a child of God, 1 John 3.1.2.
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A citizen of heaven, Philippians 3.20.
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You are the temple of Christ, 1 Corinthians 6.19 and 20.
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You are God's masterpiece, Ephesians 2.10.
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You are like your father God, Ephesians 4.24.
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You are the apple of his eye, Zechariah 2.8.
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And you are a new creation, 2 Corinthians 5.17.
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Man's labels may allow us to recognize our wounds, but Christ's labels reassure us of our worth.
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So,
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friend,
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healing begins the moment we recognize again that we are not at fault for either
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our abuse nor our
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for developing a trauma wound.
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It's really a wound in response to an overwhelming circumstance that was beyond our control.
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More than it is a disorder, it's a wound.
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So today, I hope you've taken that step with me, that important first step.
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And if you're somewhere else along that journey,
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I hope you'll come back and look for more about how you can move ahead,
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move from the desert land into that land of promise.
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But today I do want to leave you with a couple of resources that were helpful to me.
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And I think they're really helpful for many other people.
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One of them is very well known.
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It's The Wounded Heart by therapist and survivor Dan Allender.
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It also has a workbook.
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If you're interested in that,
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it'd be something you could do along with your therapist and a beautiful,
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encouraging work written by Mary Demuth,
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also a survivor.
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It's a great devotional.
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It's a great encourager.
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It's called Healing Every Day.
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And
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She has some other great books that you may find very helpful as you're going
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through this journey that I may mention later on as well.
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But those two books will have links in the show notes today if you're interested in checking them out.
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So friend, thank you for joining me today.
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Thank you for learning about my story.
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Thank you for letting me share.
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I hope it's been an encouragement to you and
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as you discover more about your value,
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your worth,
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and that man's labels may give us a place to start,
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but God is the one who ultimately can take the heart of our journey and give us hope.
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So thank you for listening to From Hardship to Hope today.
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Again, you can find the show notes for this episode, including links at TammyKennington.substack.
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And if this was helpful for you or you think it would be helpful for someone else
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that you know,
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please do send it,
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share it.
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And while you're at it, go ahead and subscribe.
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This is going to be a great first season and I'm looking forward to spending some more time with you.
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And if you don't mind, I would love just to close with a word of prayer for you.
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Abba Father, I know you are the truth and the way.
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Thank you for revealing your heart to us and for showing us the truth that we are,
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you friend,
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are his special treasure.
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We have believed the lies spoken over us.
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And Father,
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I just ask you to pluck those lies out of my heart and fill my mind and replace it,
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Lord,
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with your eternal word,
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the word of truth.
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In Jesus' holy and powerful name, amen.
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