Loneliness and Why It Matters
A Challenge & F-R-E-E Ebooks
As a young mother, I enjoyed relationships with other stay-at-home mamas. We toted our babies to the park, zoo, and library. We enjoyed lunches, playtime, and adult conversation. My emotional and social buckets overflowed with laughter, friendship, and fun.
Years later, chronic illness altered my life. A once robust circle of friends diminished and church involvement was relegated to a Sunday service. My broken body required rest more than it did a confidant.
But my heart yearned for close connection. A best friend—or at least a companion.
My limited circumstances sent me into the arms of the only One able to comfort and sustain through the lack. The hardship. The physical pain.
Do you struggle with loneliness, too? Many do.
Men. Women. Teens.
Octogenarians. Millennial mamas. Empty nesters.
So. Many. People.
Loneliness threads its way throughout human experience—a pain more pronounced since Eden’s first couple indulged their wanton desire for that which led to separation from God and exclusion from Paradise.
What is Loneliness and Why Does It Matter?
Synonyms associated with loneliness include alienated, alone, abandoned. Forgotten, friendless, forlorn. But none of these encapsulate the way people experience loneliness. Instead, each of us experiences the feeling on a spectrum—emotionally and experientially.
While definitions vary, Psychology Today explains, “Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceives a gap between one’s desires for social connection and actual experiences of it.”
Former Surgeon General and author of Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, Vivek Murthy, sheds light on the hidden epidemic in his powerful book—sharing the profound impact frequent or chronic loneliness has on people and society.
While reading the book and some of Dr. Murthy’s other work, I learned:
1 in 3 adults felt lonely pre-Covid.
loneliness equates to smoking fifteen cigarettes daily.
relationships are “a source of healing in plain sight.”
loneliness, anxiety, and depression are often interwoven.
elderly people living with loneliness frequent hospitals more than their emotionally content counterparts.
younger generations indicate a greater struggle with loneliness than Boomers with 79% of Gen Zers labeling themselves “lonely.”
Causes of Loneliness
Does the weight of loneliness affect a large swath of the world because we've veered off course? We fail to teach our children about the God who loves them, our Bibles gather dust on a shelf, and our days burst with busy.
Perhaps. Others of us struggle because death claimed the life of a loved one, divorce robbed us of our hopes for a happy marriage, or cancer invaded and robbed us of strength.
One Harvard study led researchers to conclude other leading causes of loneliness include:
technology
lack of family time
feeling worn out, weary, and overworked
struggles with mental health
individualism
no spiritual life
Do you see yourself reflected in any of the areas listed above? Can I encourage you to make one small change this week? Why not limit your time to a specific number of minutes on the phone each day? Or, consider scheduling a family meal. Make an appointment with Jesus and spend 5-15 minutes in prayer or reading through the Psalms.
You’re more likely to follow through if you hit reply and share your goal!
Recommended Reads and Resources
Finding God in My Loneliness by Lydia Brownback
“Looking at various aspects of loneliness, Lydia Brownback reminds us of God's power to redeem our loneliness and use it in our lives to draw us to himself. Ultimately, she helps us see that even when we feel misunderstood, forsaken, or abandoned, we're never really alone. God is always with us, and only he can meet all of our needs in Christ Jesus.”
Season 2, Episode 3 From Hardship to Hope: Overcoming Loneliness by Pouring Into Others
Season 2, Episode 2 From Hardship to Hope: Strategies for Overcoming Loneliness
Season 2, Episode 1 From Hardship to Hope: The God Who Sees-Finding Light in Loneliness
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Thanks for reading! Please let me know if I can pray for you. I would be honored.
Peace and grace,
Tammy
Thanks for sharing, Sarah.💕
I feel most lonely when my life gets too busy and I don't have enough alone time. In my alone time I'm more involved in prayer, Bible study, and reading for pleasure. Though I love fellowship with others, I can become social weary very quickly and long for time alone to recharge.