When You Lose Hope

A Testimony of Recovery

Photo by Amadeo Valar on Unsplash

The high-pitched whirring of the car matched the acceleration of my heart as I compressed the pedal to the floor. Desperate thoughts ricocheted in my mind–rapid-fire like a motorized, baseball-pitching machine. Hope had disintegrated in the wake of depression.

Messages roared aloud in my mind as I rounded the edge of the mountain highway. Temptation whispered its poison. How would it feel to launch off the earth at 13,000 feet? Then, four words from scripture penetrated my thoughts. Take every thought captive. Take every thought captive. Take every thought captive. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Hot tears spilled onto my cheeks as I pleaded with the Lord for release from the heartache that flooded my spirit. At that moment, the Holy Spirit reminded me of Joel 2:25 (ESV), I will restore the years the locusts have eaten. That verse guided me home. Safe. Settled. Soothed.

Still, depression clung to me.

The Valley of Depression

Depression. Even the word sounds ominous. Like many others, I endured high-functioning depression and walked through major depressive disorder with friends and family. I discovered one truth about this mental health struggle–depression respects no one.

Neither age, gender, or faith disqualifies a person from experiencing its challenges.

Perhaps you enjoy a life free of the depression’s struggle. But you know someone who struggles–even if that wrestle remains anonymous. She feels the chains of depression pulling her into its depths, like a rip current at low tide. Its power overwhelms, and catching a breath grows ever dimmer.

Yet, our Lord promises He remains with us in the darkest valley. (Psalm 23) Our Father even provides examples of those who loved Him and struggled with depression. Job. David. Solomon. Elijah. Naomi. Most consider these people spiritual giants, even though they experienced hopelessness and despair. Their stories also provide us with insight as we take up our scriptural sledgehammer and dismantle depression.

Depression and Spiritual Warfare

As with Job, depression sometimes follows trauma and grief. The Enemy knows our vulnerabilities and, while restricted, he seeks to steal, kill, and destroy anything of promise in our lives.

Job’s story (Job 1-3; 38-42) teaches us:

• the Enemy targets those who love the Lord and live out their faith.

• God was with Job, even when Job was angry and despondent.

Depression and the Importance of Community

Naomi’s husband and two sons died, leaving her a penniless, bitter refugee. Still, her daughter-in-law, Ruth, remained a faithful companion.

Naomi’s story teaches us:

• even when we feel like God has abandoned us, He remains near.

• not to isolate ourselves. We all need a ‘Ruth’ to speak words of truth and encouragement.

Depression and the Challenge of Ministry

Regardless of our circle of influence, we are vessels through which God’s love is meant to flow. But, ministry–whether to our husband, children, colleagues, or women’s group–proves challenging. Elijah was depleted and depressed because his ministry seemed ineffective. Not only that, but Jezebel set a price on his head.

Elijah’s story teaches us:

• we must care for the needs of our body by resting and eating well.

• that we are never alone. It’s important to seek community and trust in His faithfulness despite circumstances.

Depression and the Importance of Prayer and Thanksgiving

David might have been a man after God’s own heart, but he understood the suffering of betrayal and the heartache of losing a child. Honest and vulnerable, David’s prayers typically end in praise and thanksgiving.
David’s story teaches us:

• God doesn’t expect us to recite pithy, sanitized prayers. Instead, He longs for honest relationships with His children.

• praising and thanking God remind us of the truths we know about His goodness and love.

Dear one, hope for the successful management and recovery from depression is possible. God is able, and I am a living testimony to His goodness and power.

Helpful Resources

While scripture provides us with wonderful, encouraging truths in difficult seasons, lingering depression sometimes leads to moments of desperation. If you or someone you know manages the challenges of depression and grapples with thoughts of self-harm or suicidality, seek immediate help.

• Crisis Text Line – crisistextline.org – text CONNECT to 741741
  Text trained counselors anything that’s on your mind, 24/7, confidential, nationwide

• National Hopeline Network (800) SUICIDE (784-2433)

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273-TALK (8255) – Now dial 988 in the US

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline (800) 950-6264

Peace and grace,
Tammy